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 What is the typical Spike parent like?
They often feel trapped, don't know what to do and turn to some combination of being angry, loud, threatening, critical, hypersensitive, frustrated, exhausted, and demanding.
Will this program change my life?
Yes, very likely, if you do it well
Can my book reading group do this together?
No. P.A.C.T. is for the individual parent or at the most two parents
What happens if my spouse refuses to participate?
You do it by yourself. It will still work.
Can single parents do this program?
Yes. See above.
How will I know if it works?
You'll know a lot in two months. Your growth or non-growth will be obvious.
What's the most common complaint about P.A.C.T.?
It's a tough program. The hard part is doing every step, one at a time.
What's the second most common complaint?
"You mean I'm supposed to let the little S.O.B. get away with that?" Yes, temporarily. But don't worry; you'll get control.
Third most common complaint?
"You are telling me what not to do. Now tell me what TO do." It isn't necessary. P.A.C.T. trains behavior out, not in.
If I teach myself P.A.C.T., will all my other children change too?
Yes, but not all at the same rate.
What is the difference between counseling and training?
Counseling is the reverse of training. Training is time-limited, authoritarian, insistent on early success and goal-specific. It avoids insight, feelings and finding reasons for misery that are unnecessary to success in P.A.C.T. Its model is educational, not clinical or medical. It assumes that much of misery is learned and can be unlearned. P.A.C.T. encourages clients to become involved in counseling, if they are not already.
Why don't you include children since they are part of the family, too?
If you include Spike in this program he will destroy it. He is interested in staying in control.
How do I use this book?
There are two ways to use "?" as an accompaniment to training with the P.A.C.T. trainer or as a self-help guide.
Who should use this book?
Any parent, grandparent, aunty, or uncle who has care of an out-of-control child.
What will be different about my child when the program is over?
Rule of thumb: If you can count bad behavior, it will stop. (For instance, the number of times a week you are sworn at). All bad behavior will moderate. It is a by-product of your changed approach to your child. You needn't count bad behavior to have it change. It will anyway. Counting a series of bad things your child does (or causes to happen) every week is a device. It allows you to see a connection between what you learn and your kid's change. More changes occur than are on the list. Many more. Some changes occur sooner. Some later. Swearing at parents goes away before fighting between siblings; disrespect towards parents moderates before bad phone calls from school go away.
© 2010 Andrew Gibson "Got An Angry Kid?", "We have a solution.", and "Spike" are registered trademarks |
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