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Parenting Angry Children & Teens (P.A.C.T.) involves 28 steps that parents of behaviorally troubled kids need to master. The steps are introduced week by week. As a parent masters the first step, the second is introduced. The steps are easy on paper, but hard in execution. The steps look simple minded on paper but are highly nuanced. P.A.C.T. is unique: parents who complete the program say that P.A.C.T. teaches a new way of handling familiar situations.
P.A.C.T. does not teach much that is new to a client. P.A.C.T. teaches the removal of pressure. P.A.C.T. teaches parents how to create boundaries around themselves. P.A.C.T. teaches parental self-control in the face of provocation. P.A.C.T. believes that much of what appears to be permanent dysfunction in a child is, in fact, under a parents influence. P.A.C.T. believes that parents are the key to a child's happiness, including the potential happiness of the miserable child. P.A.C.T. believes that one member's dysfunction need not be everyone's dysfunction. An individual's dysfunction tends to be a families dysfunction at the same time. P.A.C.T. is a copyrighted program. Unauthorized use is strictly prohibited. No one who has not been certified by Dr. A. Gibson as an P.A.C.T. trainer may claim to use the program. Confrontation vs. non-confrontation P.A.C.T. is deceptively simple. For that reason it can be hard to describe and easy to misunderstand. Most new therapist who try to refer clients to P.A.C.T. refer clients who fail. Again, understanding P.A.C.T. and understanding a client who can learn the program is tricky. For that reason, P.A.C.T. uses an application procured so that the potential client can, in effect, refer themselves. In essence, P.A.C.T. teaches parents how to distance themselves from awful behavior, rather than confront it. Why not confront ? Because confrontation does not work, as virtually every parent who has a behavior-troubled child can attest. Often these parents are told by the well meaning that all they should do is say "NO!" in one form or another. "You must set boundaries", they say. "You must show them that you are the boss." "They must be made to respect you." This all sounds really good. But executing this advise is another matter. No one who had a troubled child could ever make statements like these to a parent with a straight face. All of these things enable the very behavior we say we want to eliminate. Never mind that this "help" is also terrifically patronizing and stressful. P.A.C.T. parents have struggled with advice like the foregoing, have gotten nowhere and have felt quite inadequate in the process. But virtually all parents must experience these various traditional parent education approaches before attempting P.A.C.T.. To assume that parents had not considered these techniques is insulting. On the same token, parents must have a history of program failure which they can acknowledge. P.A.C.T. is not counseling. In fact, it tries hard to steer clear of anything associated with counseling. Counseling may or not be appropriate. Parents often say counseling does not work. Counseling may work after P.A.C.T. has been concluded. Still, P.A.C.T. does not assist in insight development or help to find the root causes of problems. It is essentially uninterested in mental health issues because they do not predict program success. The business of P.A.C.T. is to stay focused on the program. Mental health issues may take care of themselves as a result; they will certainly be seen in a different light if the program is effective. © 2010 Andrew Gibson "Got An Angry Kid?", "We have a solution.", and "Spike" are registered trademarks |
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